Was it right?

[sergeyfen]

Do you think being ashamed of your own parents or not listening to your parents is right?
I personally think being ashamed of your family is never should be a case. Parents are the ones that raised, gave you life, and who always going to be by your side no matter what happens. In Fish cheeks Amy was ashamed of what food their parents served and how they were behaving. I think it wasnt right to be ashamed because the dinner was just for her and her parents did not want to impress anyone but her.
In Marriage private affair i think Nnaemeka did right desicion of not listening to what his dad was saying about him and his wife. How you suppose to marry person that you dont love? Its just stupid, Nnaemeka did all the right desicions and i totally agreed with him.
What you think of those stories?

[KevinW]

And what if your entire family were psychopathic vampires who lured and killed innocent people for a living (literally)?

Just saying, think logically. Sometimes your family may act like idiots; there's no denying it when that happens. Whilst I agree that you owe your parents a great deal (depending on how they raised you, of course) and should endeavor to pay that debt back, there should not be any chain that says: You cannot dislike, be ashamed of, or refuse your parents./b]

In the case of Fish Cheeks, though, Amy was being the idiot. Her parents were perfectly fine, imo.


As for MarriagePA, try imagining living two hundred years ago. Marriage was nothing more than a tool to grab grandsons (Yep, boy>girl), gain influence, gain a housewife, and perhaps make some money along the way. I don't know a lot about history, but I can say for rather certain that in ancient Chinese culture, two things where looked for in marriage: Right social status and money.

It was common for an old man to have many wives (concubines). I don't think love came into the equation until... 1950s+? With women's rights?


From today's standpoint, yeah I agree with Nnaemeka. But if I were raised in ancient Rome, I'd disagree. In fact, if I were raised in ancient Rome, I'd have agreed to a boy sex slave!

[ExtremelyExtremeExtremist]

I think being ashamed of your own culture is not right.
If you are ashamed of your own culture, that doesn't mean that all problems are solved, immediately turn to foreign culture you like, commit suicide, or else. You should always listen to your parents, but it depends on how they treat you. If you feel that they¡¯re doing wrong, describe their problems.

In Fish Cheeks, Amy being afraid of Robert¡¯s reaction to Chinese culture was normal, but her fear went too far. We all feel small fear when we contact with other culture, or get ashamed when we do something that people of opposite culture can¡¯t accept. I feel that Amy¡¯s parents didn¡¯t respect Robert¡¯s family because the dinner was held in 100% Chinese. It made Robert¡¯s family become angry and embarrassed.

In MPA, I agree with Kevin that marrying with someone you don¡¯t love makes sense. But today, it¡¯s different. People are free to marry who they love. There can¡¯t be love when people marry with someone they don¡¯t know well. And fights can easily occur between them, mostly because of not accepting their ideas.

[brandonina]

You're right, I also personally think that being ashamed of your family is not right since they are the most important people in your life. However, I think Amy's embarrassment of her family is pretty reasonable. I believe that everybody has felt the similar way at some point of his or her life. It's just that people look back at those experiences and learn that it's important to have some pride in both themselves and their backgrounds. People who don't are the ones that... Never Mind.

In Marriage is a Private Affair, I think that it's right to pursue your true love and stick with your decisions. However, I believe it's absolutely wrong to not respect your parents just because of the situation like this. As the story demonstrates, differences between generation always exist. It can happen and is normal. It's wrong ,though, to not respect each others' perspectives and beliefs. In the story, both the father and the guy acted selfishly toward each other. As a result, their relationship never recovers. It's pretty ridiculous to marry someone who you don't love. But it's more ridiculous to just ignore your parents thoughts and go away from them.

Actually, people happened between people around me, which makes me sad .
So Don't Ever Do THAT!!

[woojongpark]

I think not obeying parents depends on cases. There are sometimes when you truly want to do something, but your parents don't allow. That's when you shouldn't listen to your parents. Parents are not always going to choose what we are going to do, aren't they? I agree with Sergey that Nnaemeka did the right thing, because problems with marriage is related to one's life. It's an important decision.

Now let's talk about Amy. I agree that she was being stupid. She should be ashamed of herself for being embarrassed by her own culture. But I think Amy was still young to know about her culture, and that event in the Christmas evening was a process of learning how important respecting her own culture is.

[lukejoo1092]

For Amy's case, I do think that there was a problem in that she was ashamed of her own culture. She should be proud of it and value it as well. But unfortunately, that's the trend these days. Many children and teenagers are ashamed to show their culture because they want to look good in the other culture they live in. They want to seem good to other people according to the typical concepts of what they think is good. So yeah, it is a problem that people are ashamed of their own culture but it is a problem that is very common now and is turning into something natural unfortunately.

For Nnaemeka's case, it was the right decision for him to continue in loving the woman he loves even if it meant to disobey his father's orders. I think that the main point of this story is about how the old culture that people try to continue on may be not perfect even though they believe it to be. His father had to resist from meeting his grandparents because of his culture which is something quite stupid the way I see it. When it comes to family and lovers, nothing should be above them, even if it means the culture that you are shaped of. You must be able to accept the fact that your culture is wrong when family and love cannot be complete because of it.

[linnie]

I think it really depends. I believe there are times when you have to give in but there are also times to keep your own opinion. For example, in my family, we can have our own culture and belief, and my parents don't care about it.

In Amy's situation, she feels embarrassed about her own culture. But I think this is typical thing that you get as you grow up especially when you are in different country. In my case, I lived in Bali where it has multi culture. There were Argentina girl, Indonesian, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, New Zealand, Malaysia, French, America and more. They all had different culture and we shared our food often. And there were lots of people who were embarrassed to show their own food or culture. I think this is wrong because I already experienced this. I used to be embarrassed at time but as I grow up, people all understand each other's culture.

Meanwhile, Nnaemeka, he did a right choice even though he didn't obey his parents. He knew what was right things to do I think. Well, obeying father is important as well but if he did, he and his wife won't be happy after their marriage and so will be his dad. He was sure he had right decision and he was responsible for it.

[sorn]

I also think that it depends on each individuals and our cultural background. I think that we should listen to our parents. I feel like parents have more experiences than us and they now what is best for us. They only did it because they love you. But sometimes some decisions are un-reasonable and it forces you to do something you don't want. In that case, just tell them and ask them for advice, find a solution together.

[nadiraamalina]

It depends on what your parents are. If they are perfectly kind, well meaning and caring parents who just happen to be

However, in Amy's case, I think her family is at fault since their customs, while considered normal in their own country, are at best unusual in America, and Amy clearly describes how uncomfortable the minister and his family are with the quirks shown by Amy's Chinese family. I get that this would be normal in China, but I assume that they've been living in America for quite some time, since Amy is described as Chinese-American, so they should have had plenty of time to adjust.

And frankly, Nnaemeka's father would have been an excellent father back in the past, its just that times have changed, and his views are not shared by the general public. Perhaps he had a perfectly happy arranged marriage and believed that his son's potential arranged marriage could have the same happy ending.

[jisu25]

I don't feel ashamed about my own culture because it is a part of who i am. If i was in a Chinese Christmas Eve dinner party, i won't be ashamed about how i act and just act the way that i usually am. Custom is how you live in your country. Sure, when you move to a different country, you might be ashamed with your own awkward actions, but it doesn't mean that you shouldn't be discouraged about it because, like i said, that your culture is also a part of who you are.

[yeajinchoi]

I don't think your parents should be the reason of your embarrassment. They sacrificed so much for us and if they are weird, they have the right to be weird. Also, most children grow up from their parents influence and usual turn out to be like their parents. If they are ashamed of their parents, then that's basically being ashamed of yourself and who you are.

[sazad100]

I don't feel ashamed of who I am and the culture that my parents brought me up with. Whenever my parents invite over their foreigner friends we give them spoon, chopsticks etc. and I use it too, but my father feels free to use his hands in front of them. I wasn't ashamed about it because that was the culture that my father was raised with and he is just following them. This is what everyone should do. Follow their culture so it does not get extinct.

[jungholee]

In a case. Most parents sacrificed much for their children. But not everyone. Some people try to kill or just leave their children to anywhere even if the child can die. I don't think we should respect them as their parents because they just threw away their children. Also if the parents are people who killed many other people and made many crimes. Yea, the children should respect and try to understand their parents because anyway they are parents. But I don't think the children should have any proud of the fact

[james]

Yup youre absolutely right. Being ashamed of your family aint right. However, sometimes, when your family act like an idiot, that just makes my head pshhh black-out. Especially when youre a "teenager" you feel ashame of you family a lot. A lot of things happen as you live and interact with others that(being ashamed of my family) might happen but i think its just a momentary problem. You didnt really mean to when youre ashamed. I think it isnt a big deal. However, in the marriages a private affair, the father was being stupid. Hes still living in freakin 1890s i think thats when you HAVE to be ashamed of your parents. He should start accepting different cultures. I mean the fathers stupid for not seeing his son just because he didnt marry the one who his parents wanted him to anyways,, yeahh..

[esther]

I agree with you Sergey for some parts. I agree with you about the part that we shouldn't be ashamed of your family. Your family are the people who will be on your side no matter what. So being ashamed of them because of any kind of reason is not right. But, I don't agree with the part that you shouldn't listen to your parents. I mean, you really should marry with the person who you love because you will be living with that person for the reset of your life, but I think there is a reason for not agreeing. No matter you think that your parents are wrong and you think you're right, you should listen to your parents because they know more than you.